So often when adoption comes up, people will comment that they would like to adopt, but it’s too expensive. I have always told people not to let that stand in their way; God provides. And yet, as we are back in the process of fundraising, I find myself experiencing moments of doubt and panic that the finances might not be there like they were when we were in process with our first adoption.
That’s part of the human condition. We forget what happened before. We forget the battles we’ve fought and the way the Lord has won them. We forget the struggles we’ve endured and how we have overcome them with His strength. We forget His provision at moments when there was no logical way. All through the Old Testament, the Lord is clear in His command for generations to tell the younger generations all that He did for them: the enemies they overcame when the numbers seemed impossible, the sustenance that came out of nowhere and nourished them, the triumphs when the odds were completely stacked against them. As those things were forgotten, the Israelites tried to rely on themselves and the idols around them. Everything would fall apart; they would see that they had drifted from the Lord, remember Who He is and what He has done, repent, and be delivered.
I’ve found the same cycle in my life: I forget what He’s done in the past when it’s seemed impossible,and I turn to my idol of control. In His goodness, however, He leaves me reminders of all He’s done before and what He’s doing now. I repent of my lack of trust and faith, while He delivers me from worry and fear. When I read about the Israelites, they seem do dense. Why don’t they just get it and do it right? Why do they insist on this cyclic idiocy? The truth is, though, I am one of them. I too often fall into the same trap of forgetting His faithfulness, His power, His sovereignty, His plan.
“Come and hear, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me.” -Psalm 66:16
- The Lord has given me parents who have taught me to love Him since I was born.
- The Lord has delivered me from anxiety that I experienced as a child.
- The Lord has surrounded me with a community that loves my family and that is living the Gospel.
- The Lord has blessed me with a husband who works hard and loves well.
- The Lord has provided me and David with jobs we love, working with incredible people.
- The Lord has healed my husband after a debilitating injury this past summer.
- The Lord has allowed me to be a mother to three (and soon four) amazing children.
- The Lord has given me Jesus, the best thing He could ever have done for me.
I didn’t deserve any of it. I didn’t deserve the way that people supported our first adoption and made it financially possible, and I don’t deserve the gifts we’ve been blessed with as we bring home another child. These past couple weeks, I’ve been preaching to myself: God will provide.
And today, we had $661 donated to our adoption through our red envelope fundraiser! That brings our fundraising total to a little over $7,000– which means we’re over 20% of the way to our goal! Thank you to all of those who are part of this journey and part of what the Lord is doing.
